Friday, August 26, 2005
j'aucun undestand
u are given a bouquet ( be it a special special person )
would u wait for flowers to wizened , lose it charm .. so that u can preserve, lock it inside and write a note in ur diary !!??
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Humor
A memo to all Indians in Microsoft....This is one extremely funny (and VULGAR).
MEMO TO INDIAN STAFF
In view of the large number of Indians working in the USA, UK and Many other countries with White People, it has become important for Human Resources Directors to issue directives to their Indian staff. The following is an ACTUAL internal memo from the Human Resources Director of Microsoft.
To all Hindi-speaking staff
It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our corporate headquarters that offensive language is commonly Used by our Hindi-speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and colleagues. Staff will IMMEDIATELY adhere to the following rules:
Words like "CHUTIYA, GANDU" and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion. You will not say "CHUTIYE AKKAL NAHI HAI KYA TEREKO" when someone makes a mistake, or "MADAR CHOD BHENCHOD" when a major mistake has been made. All forms derived from the verb "CHOD" are inappropriate in our environment. No project manager, section head or administrator, under any circumstances,will be referred to as "GADHA", or "CHUTIYA". Lack of determination will not be referred to as "KAAMCHOR SALA", and neither will persons who lack initiative be referred to as "AALSI BHOSADIKAA", or "MADARCHOD". Unusual or creative ideas from your superiors are not to be referred to as "---- ALL". Do not say "GAND FADU" if a person is persistent, or if a task is heavy to accomplish. In a similar way, do not use "GAND FATI NA", if a colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say "BHOSADE MEIN GAYA" when matters become complicated. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say "---- OFF".
Do not ever substitute 'May I help you?' with "BOL TERI KAISE GAND MARUU"? When things get tough, an acceptable expression such as 'We are going through a difficult time' should be used, rather than "MAA CHUDI PADI HAI" or "GOTI MUH MEIN HAI" No salary increase shall be ever referred to as "KHAIRAAT BAATI HAI". Under no circumstances should you call our elderly corporate partners "BUDDA KHOOSAT".
Last, but not least, after reading this memo, please do not say "YE KAGAJ GAND PONCHNE KE LAAYAK BHI NAHI HAI". Just keep it clean and dispose off it properly. We hope you will keep these directions in mind.
Sincerely,
Steve Rider - Human Resources Director
Microsoft Corporation Inc.
Tel : 555-123-4567 www.microsoft.com
http://www.microsoft.com
MEMO TO INDIAN STAFF
In view of the large number of Indians working in the USA, UK and Many other countries with White People, it has become important for Human Resources Directors to issue directives to their Indian staff. The following is an ACTUAL internal memo from the Human Resources Director of Microsoft.
To all Hindi-speaking staff
It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our corporate headquarters that offensive language is commonly Used by our Hindi-speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and colleagues. Staff will IMMEDIATELY adhere to the following rules:
Words like "CHUTIYA, GANDU" and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion. You will not say "CHUTIYE AKKAL NAHI HAI KYA TEREKO" when someone makes a mistake, or "MADAR CHOD BHENCHOD" when a major mistake has been made. All forms derived from the verb "CHOD" are inappropriate in our environment. No project manager, section head or administrator, under any circumstances,will be referred to as "GADHA", or "CHUTIYA". Lack of determination will not be referred to as "KAAMCHOR SALA", and neither will persons who lack initiative be referred to as "AALSI BHOSADIKAA", or "MADARCHOD". Unusual or creative ideas from your superiors are not to be referred to as "---- ALL". Do not say "GAND FADU" if a person is persistent, or if a task is heavy to accomplish. In a similar way, do not use "GAND FATI NA", if a colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say "BHOSADE MEIN GAYA" when matters become complicated. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say "---- OFF".
Do not ever substitute 'May I help you?' with "BOL TERI KAISE GAND MARUU"? When things get tough, an acceptable expression such as 'We are going through a difficult time' should be used, rather than "MAA CHUDI PADI HAI" or "GOTI MUH MEIN HAI" No salary increase shall be ever referred to as "KHAIRAAT BAATI HAI". Under no circumstances should you call our elderly corporate partners "BUDDA KHOOSAT".
Last, but not least, after reading this memo, please do not say "YE KAGAJ GAND PONCHNE KE LAAYAK BHI NAHI HAI". Just keep it clean and dispose off it properly. We hope you will keep these directions in mind.
Sincerely,
Steve Rider - Human Resources Director
Microsoft Corporation Inc.
Tel : 555-123-4567 www.microsoft.com
http://www.microsoft.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)